Do you all remember the year 2020 when we all stared down the barrel of a deadly virus ? Do you all remember how it upended our normal routines and confined us to our homes? Negative thoughts are associated with Covid 19 and for good reason. There were many deaths, loss of income, loneliness and the mental challenges that came with the virus. These negative outcomes were supposed to be an eye-opening situation for a Muslim and a source of motivation and positive outcome and Alhamdulillah, a lot of Muslims took advantage of these signs and turned to the only place to turn to, Allah ( S.W.T) This is my story of how the Coronavirus epidemic turned my life for the better and how I built a beautiful relationship with my Lord and got to know Him dearly and intimately like I never knew Him before.
You see, we needed this Virus to upend our normal routines and change the world we live in and how we viewed it. I say 'need' because we may want something or not want something and be not good for us and not needed. Only Allah knows what we need and at the right time, only He knows what the purpose of a test is. My life before the Corona Virus was a life in all honesty, dark and gloomy. It was full of days which turned to months of not praying. It was a life being lived on the edge, full of sin and little good deeds to erase the sins. What's the real definition of living life on the edge other than sinning and not worshiping Allah as death could come at any time. That's the real definition in my opinion and which I am familiar with and would encourage people to wake up and reflect upon.
It was like I was cheating Allah as I would pray sometimes because I was in the company of people who prayed or was told it was time to pray. I was in fact cheating myself as prayer is for me and not for Allah. I am the one in need of Allah, I am in need of His Mercy , His guidance at all times. Thinking about those times makes me feel ashamed and that's a good thing as a believer as they are meant to be remorseful when he/she remebers their sins. Its like I forgot that the 1st thing I would be asked on Judgement Day is my Salah. Without going into detail, I prayed here and there and the thought of days where I slept without praying make me feel grateful of the chances I was given because death could have taken me away in my sleep in that state. I do feel remorse and gratefulness as that's how a Muslim should live their lives.
2020 has become my 'Blueprint' as I use it to correct myself and realign my thoughts and actions in the direction needed. I would spend most of the days doing Dikhr and these made me get used to praising Allah and asking for His Forgiveness. Dhikr was the first thing that ensured complete reversal from the old way of life that I used to lead to a new life where I cannot picture going a few minutes without doing Dhikr and if I forget, it feels completely alien and uncomfortable, Alhamdulillah. There were factors that ensured this change to take effect in my life, factors and tests that I am grateful for and are meant to be between me and my Lord. I cannot think of talking to someone about my problems as its unbearable and the only direction I channel that is to Allah (SWT). I would pray my 5 daily prayers and keep track of them on the app by clicking prayed and then would offer extra nawafil prayers. My intention was to make up for the lost salahs of the previous years and I ask Allah to accept it from me, Ameen. The Ramadhan of 2020 was also the best Ramadhan I've had in a long time and I am grateful to Allah for making me experience the hardships He sent my way to get closer to Him.
Everyone on this earth has problems and challenges in their lives and it's one of the things that make me content. Everyone has his or her own baggage to carry, be it the president of the US or the ordinary person you meet on the street and never see again. I have this belief that why bother you with my problems when you have problems of your own. There are certain times and scenarios that require you to talk about your problems but make not it a habit. I urge everyone to start conversing with their Lord who is always with you and will never tire from hearing your prayers. As Allah says in the Quran,
This is Allah encouraging us to call onto Him and converse with Him although He knows what we want to say already. Once this becomes a part of your life, I can assure you that you will find ease in every matter and life will become bearable. All you need is a sincere Dua to your Rabb who is Al- Mujib( The Responsive, the Answerer).