The Path To Tawakull ( Reliance Upon Allah)

"Firstly, the accurate understanding of tawakkul is not merely based on the idea of reliance, but also on the human’s recognition of being imperfect creation of God which would naturally limit their ability to overcome life’s challenges alone without God. It is a recognition that humans could still fail despite putting the best effort for life’s objective and, thus, they must rely on God’s support. For that, as humans, we should strive to strengthen our relationship with God through constant ibadah and not letting life’s endeavours neglect the devotional obligation to Him."https://muslim.sg/articles/tawakkul-meaning

I often dreamed of having a close personal relationship with my Lord and how it would look mostly brought out into my consciousness by lecturers in mosques. After a while, I would forget about it sometimes years might pass until I was able to ask myself that question again and thoughts and ideas would race in my mind as to how it might look like. That was when I was a young boy and as is the characteristics of boys, I would go back to my playing and adventure filled world. Alhamdulillah for Allah gave me such a perfect and beautiful childhood. In fact, I am grateful for my whole life, Its ups and downs for it was written by the Best Author. 

Jump all the way to when I was 22 years and those questions resurfaced again but this time, i felt this immense disappointment for I was involved in a life that was far from it being an environment conducive for Allah's Mercy. Or so I thought. Instead of picturing how having a relationship with Allah looked like, I was made to question my life and it was in this dark moments of my life that I was able to steer myself in a direction that would bring about Allah's help and Mercy. I didn't know that it was not I who was steering myself but it was Allah who was steering me in whichever direction He wanted for me. The thoughts and questions I had were not merely my own. It was Allah's perfect Mercy and timing that the right thoughts and questions would come to mind. Sometimes I wish I had the relationship I have with my Lord now back then. But then I believe I wouldn't appreciate it like I do now and be grateful as I am now. Allah knows best. 

There was this constant conflict between the side of me that wanted good and the lower self that always wants to follow its desires. After another tumultuous 2 years, I was finally able to not just picture it but actively and consciously construct this relationship I looked forward to having. Reliance in Allah is not something that just happens but requires rigorous training to get to and is never ending till we meet Allah on Judgement Day hopefully with a sincere sound heart. Ameen. The environment required to develop this Tawakul and Relationship with Allah is already written and built and you will know it when you step into its doors. That is what happened from the summer of 2019 to this day and I want to share a candid backstory into it and paint a picture for anyone who reads this. I want my readers to know that no matter what, Allah is always there for us and all we need is to take the first step towards Him and the rest will be filled with joy and happiness In Shaa Allah. 

As is the case with me, I always write things in parts and this is the introductory part. Next part, I will talk about how I was able to recognize and come to the conclusion that it was 'Time". Time to acknowledge my Lord, time to realize that I am not in control as I foolishly believed . Time to surrender to Allah's Mercy.Time to atone for my sins, time to finally develop a long lasting relationship with my Rabb. So, stay tuned for my next post In Shaa Allah. 

Part 2 coming......